I have to apologize for not keeping up with my page Struggles and Strengths lately. Fear took over ever since I found out that I will get published. Fear of people seeing the real me, fear of what will people think, fear of becoming successful, fear of going back and digging again through what I went through. Fear of those dreaded feelings of hopelessness and anxiety in the pit of my stomach that I have finally overcome. Fear kept telling me to put it off. You’ll never get there. Why are you bothering doing this? No one cares.
I was doing everything I could to avoid the book and the business from reading various other books, cleaning, and wasting time trying to figure out things on the internet. Let’s not forget about Facebook! All while I should have been writing and growing my business.
Last week I asked God to help me kick fear. I was tired of feeling scared. Tired of wanting to move forward but paralyzed by my own insecurities. Somehow I mustered the courage to move forward to reach out and get help with my website. I also mustered the strength to take the dreaded professional pictures to help build my business. I still was not working on the book. God why do I keep putting off the book?
I went to church Sunday and the sermon was about the Great Blondin, the first tightrope walker to cross Niagara Falls. Our pastor is a great storyteller and has a unique way of keeping you engaged. He talked about each time the Great Blondin crossed the tightrope the crowd would go wild and want to see more. So the Great Blondin would do a new stunt and the crowd loved it.
When it came time for the Great Blondin to cross Niagara Falls with a wheelbarrow he asked the crowd, “Do you think I can do it?”
“Oh yes!” the crowd exclaimed.
“OK, get in the wheelbarrow.”
I felt God was talking directly to me. I feel that I have been watching God do great things. I have seen how he has changed and formed me into the stronger person that I am today. I have seen the wonderful things that he has done for other authors and I can see the wonderful things that he may have up ahead for me.
God has brought me the wheelbarrow and it is time to get in. I have been it before but I jumped out scared of the challenges that lie ahead. I need to trust the master and let him guide the wheelbarrow because I sure don’t know what I am doing. Help me Lord to stop being a wheelbarrow jumper. Help me trust you to stay put and let you lead.
Time for me to get writing.
Keep smiling friends, and stay in your wheelbarrow! ????